...heavy heart

...I think I really understand the meaning of this expression now. I drove home last night with one. Mom's surgery, in the words of her oncologist, went well. The mass was larger than we expected. This, of course, brings its own set of worries, but also hope that the pain she's been in for the last few months was caused by that and now, at the very least, the pain will be gone.

I forgot how hard recovery is. How hard it is to watch someone who has been the strong one, for you, for so long, not be the strong one. Role reversal is never an easy thing.

...Another expression I now understand the true meaning of is, "Cool as a cucumber." That would be my mom's surgeon. We got a call in the waiting room around when her surgery was supposed to start that they were running about 30 minutes late. We came to find out later that it was because the surgeon had been driving to the hospital when a tree fell 150 feet in front of his car. A big tree, which he hit. He called his wife, who met him at the accident, then he took her car, and came to the hospital to perform mom's surgery.

If that shows up on Grey's Anatomy, they stole the plot from me (I know the producers read my blog). Yes, there's a reason he's a surgeon. And there's a reason his wife is a surgeon's wife.

Comments

[Rachel]

Saying a prayer for you and your sweet mom Laura. I hope her recovery from this surgery goes smoothly. Lots of hugs and prayers!

[melanie]

continuing to keep you all in my prayers.

and laughing a bit about her doctor as it definitely sounds like someone i know who would do the same thing...

[Susan]

Thanks for the update about your Mom. I'm probably a good 15 years older than you, so my Mom is in her late 70's. I remember when the roles began to reverse, probably about 15 years ago. It's a difficult thing to adjust to, even without the physical things that are afflicting your dear Mom, presently. I am hopeful that she is going to be feeling much better very soon, as her recovery progresses.

Grace to you, as you take on the role of the strong one.

[laurie lariviere]

wow that's quite the story, thank goodness your mom's doctor wasn't harmed and I am so happy to hear she is not in pain anymore, she's sooo very lucky to have you :)

[Melissa]

Thanks for the update on your mom. All of you have been in my thoughts. Glad that the surgeon thought the surgery went well (glad he's OK too, jeez!). Praying that this helps with her pain.

[Stephanie Howell]

i have prayed for you and your entire family non-stop since i heard. i hope that your heart isn't so heavy today and that you know how many people love you.xoxo

[Elizabeth]

GAH.
There is a reason I have nothing to do with the medical profession, and I am so thankful for people who are cool as cucumbers (and smart as whips). So glad that there is action on behalf of your sweet mama, because nothing at all would be worse, right?

[Steph H]

I think his wife deserves a starbucks card. You know, for giving up her car so her husband could go work some surgical cancer ass kicking magic on your mom.

(Surgical cancer ass kicking magic...let's wait for that one to show up on Greys!)

sending lots of love to you, still.

[audra]

thanks for posting...praying for you all.

[Brooke]

When I read your Mom's blog about the surgeon I knew she was in good hands. I have seen my Mum in hospital for something quite routine and nothing prepared me for how I felt when I saw her. I can't imagine how hard this is. I'm still thinking and praying for you all.

[emily (justem)]

thinking of you and your mom. the story about the tree is crazy. so glad the surgeon was amazing. :) (and i am totally sure they grey's people are here on a regular basis...!)

[lauren]

thinking of you both. lots and lots of positive thoughts. *

[gabby]

i love you guys.
sending so much love and up so many prayers.
xoxo.

[melanie]

Continuing to pray for you all.. And thankful for the surgeon's nerves of steel. :)

[Nikki Goloskov Dalrymple]

You and your family are in my thoughts.
Hugs, -Nikki

[lisa truesdell]

sending so much love. xoxo

[lindsay]

WOW! That's incredible. What an amazing doctor your mom has! Prayers for a quick recovery for your mom.

[Barb]

I know you know this, but you've really been on my mind this week.

I admire the relationship you have with your mother, and I admire your mom's bravery and honesty through this process.

[melanie]

Laura, I've been down this very road
with my own Mom, and I know how heartbreaking/stressful/terrifying it is. My prayers go out to your sweet Mom for a full recovery. Much love to you both. xo

[Magdalena/Rockermorsan]

Laura, I'm glad you still have some energy left to share about your mom on your blog. I'm thinking of you. I lost my father 13 years ago, and a parent's illness is a difficult thing to deal with.

[Becky Trump]

Laura, it sounds like your mom is in great hands. I am sure your mom is just glad to have you there - strong or not, I'm sure your company eases her pain and speeds her recovery.
Continuing to think and pray for you and your family.

[Maria]

I hate role reversal. It was all much easier when we were the children and they were the parents. I am thinking about you and your Mom so much. And praying for you both.

[Melissa]

Catching up with you .... hate that this is the news that I find .... sending you love, hugs, thought and prayers. Will continue to think of you and pray as the days and weeks pass. Be gentle with yourself. As much as you can.

[mara]

thinking of you all.
thanks for the update about your mom.
sending prayers to whomever is listening.

[Gillian]

I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is ill, Laura. Your family will be in my thoughts and I'm praying for a steady recovery for her.

g