...a bittersweet day

...today is Mother's Day, which Ken and Charlie have made so special for the last three years. But it's a bittersweet day too. Today marks one year since we said farewell to our sweet golden girl.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

Most days, it seems like there isn't an hour that goes by that I don't think of her.

I still think I hear her. Maybe I do.

In the middle of the night, I still look down at our neighbor's light reflecting off our front hall floor and take comfort when I think I see Charmer down there. Maybe I do.

Every day when we sit at the table, I ask Charlie to point to her picture. I want him to know her, even if he'll never know her.

Lately, a lot of people have been saying to us, "You should get another dog."

Truth is, I don't want another dog. Truth is, Charmer broke my heart. I know some day, I'll want another dog. Some days I do want another dog. But that day has to be when my heart feels a little less broken. (And maybe a day when I won't have to worry about a toddler picking up dog poop in the backyard).

Miss you, sweet girl.

Comments

[Melissa]

Our pets are so very much a part of our lives. Our cat died two years ago, and Betty still talks about her often and cries over her loss at times.

They really do become part of the family.

[mom]

I see Charmer down at the bottom of the steps, too. I know she is watching over us....

L,M

[Brooke]

Owh. It can't be easy.

Hope the "Mother's" part of your day was a special one.

[Joanne]

Oh! I totally resonate with your post...it's been 2 years since we lost our golden, Bailey and only just now are we even able to think of another dog. Thoughts and tears are with you today.

[Barbara]

I know all the "Devine" goldens are playing together in heaven!

[jenn shurkus]

{{{hugs}}} i know i dont "know" charmer... but i selfishly miss her too...

[MarieP]

It's been a little over a month and my eyes still tear up every time I think of him.

http://mariepilgrim.blogspot.com/2011/04/blindsided.html

They teared up when I read your post, too. I feel exactly like you. Sometimes I think I hear him. Sometimes I want another dog. Mostly, I just want him back.

I, too, am waiting for my heart to be a little less broken.

[Carron]

Hugs!
xoxo,
C

[judy]

Mothers Day was bitter sweet for me too Laura..I hold the wonderful memories of Tom close to my heart..made new memories yesterday..today my Tiger(my cat)girl would have been 13.lost her brother in Jan.. we said goodbye to her a few days after we lost our Tom..Charmer was such a great friend to yor family..I miss her too and never got to hug her once..we cry because we loved...we are sad because we remember..xo,j

[Kara A. Forrest]

All dogs are special, however, one must know that to look into a Golden's Eyes is like seeing your own heart and soul. I see pictures of Charmer on your blog and I know she was that kind of dog that can touch the core of your heart like no other. . . My mother lost her English Setter in 1996, she has never gotten another dog. She just was never ready or willing to give her heart again. Only your heart and soul can guide you to the right time. For now enjoy those memories and I will hug my Golden for Charmer. Fondly-Another "Golden Owner"

[Barb]

Thinking of you, Laura.

[Steph H]

love you.

[Becky Trump]

Thinking of you, Laura. Hugs to you.

[L:aurie]

So sad to lose a pet, especially dogs, they seem to just know us don't they? and we spoil them and they love it. My dog is awesome and I love every minute with him, Charmer looked like a cutie pie, I'm sure he's sending wet doggy kisses from heaven for you and your family.

[Lynne]

I understand completely. And I know in the deepest part of my heart that Charmer is there, watching over all of you. Just like Liberty is here... they never leave us, really. I think we'll carry those amazing memories with us forever.

XOXOXOXO

L.

[ale]

this post made me cry. i know exactly how you feel. no one can replace charmer. it's been almost nine years since i've lost sophie, and i miss her still. but nothing you'll mend your heart better then a pet's love.

[Odd Mom Out]

Wow. I lost my sweet girl dog last week, and just picked up her ashes this morning. I agree, I just want her back. You can read about my sweetheart here, if you wish.
http://www.oddmomout.com/2011/05/goodbye-good-friend.html

[Bethany]

Our golden Silo, died the day before Thanksgiving in 2005. My favorite picture of her is with her laying on the front lawn next to her "baby dog" (stuffed dog). Silo always "led me" to and from the bathroom several times a day. I see her face in every golden retriever that I see on tv, the street, and in photographs. I am content in knowing that she and her brother, Butterscotch (yellow long haired cat) are playing and lounging in the sun in Heaven waiting for the day that we will all be reunited . . .

[Kate]

I lost our pup 5.5 years ago and I STILL think of her. Not everyday anymore - but certainly often. It's amazing how these creatures become part of us, one of us, and change us. You'll get another dog when the timing is right - or when another pup happens to grab your heart and you cannot say no.

[Mercer]

Wow - I cannot believe it has been a year. She was such a good dog and you are such a good dog (and kid) mother!

[Sue]

When my friend lost her "first born boy" Golden Angus I really started to worry about her that she would never heal her heart. Slowly it did heal, we still talk about him but now Elsa has taken a new spot in her heart. You will find a new love for a fur baby. (((hugs)))

[aimee]

oh this post made me cry. sweet sweet charmer. i always loved reading about her and the pictures you would post.

if you get a chance- or haven't already- read 'the art of racing in the rain'- by garth stein, a wonderful book.

we lost our lab 5 years ago, and although we do have a wonderful new dog (1/2 golden named Asbury) - each night I still say "Goodnight Boots" aloud. they stay with us, forever.